Watching reactions to #YesAllWomen continue to roll in is insightful. It’s informative, and I began to realize something that had been missing in a lot of people’s lives, and something #YesAllWomen is about. Something that is often missed.
So let’s talk about work.
At work someone was giving me advice, and helped me realize that many of us have multiple problem-solving modes. These modes aren’t always the right way to solve the problems, but boy can we get stuck in certain ones because they seem to work or work well enough.
Me, my two modes are the Problem Solver and The Listener, which I imagine are the modes many people have. The Problem Solver dives into things to tackle them, the Listener listens first then suggests or enables. Yours truly has jammed in Problem Solver mode more than once, and now and then people have to smack me out of it or I realize it’s time to be The Listener. I imagine you’ve been there yourself.
Now I can discuss this intellectually, but #YesAllWomen slapped me in the face with a hard truth.
It’s a call to listen.
Among the stories I saw people not engaging, but judging (it’s anti-male) or making jokes or riding in on their own agendas. But these people weren’t listening.
#YesAllWomen is about women telling their stories so people hear them.
That’s it. People need to listen so we can solve these things – but it takes listening first.
One of the reasons that I’ve posted on this a lot, I realize is that I slowed down and listened here – I wasn’t in Problem Solver mode. Thus it hit me deeply.
Listening impacts someone – it impacts the listener. It changes them. Listening changes us so we can help. Listening shows the respect people need so they can open up.
So it’s about listening.
A lot is, really.
We all need to listen more, I’d guess.
– Steven Savage