Psychology

Real Fun Is Subversive

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(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

Real fun is subversive.

I’m not talking fun that offends. Offense isn’t subversive. Fun that offends is trapped by its need to offend, lacking the sense of sheer joy unbound that healthy fun has.

I’m not talking fun that is a “guilty pleasure.” A guilty pleasure requires you to have something to feel bad about – then not feel bad about. Guilty pleasures aren’t subversive, the very name suggests they’re less guilty, more pleasure

I’m not talking about doing the “big thing.” You may enjoy that, but also you might just be following along with the crowd, having fun because you have to. “Required fun,” as joyful as it is, still jabs you with that razor edge of control from outside.

I’m talking fun that’s just . . . fun. Sheer joy of something, the happiness in being there and enjoying yourself. It’s a kind of connection and expression that’s just being you. That’s incredibly subversive.

When you have fun you’re just being yourself, experiencing joy, doing what you like, living. It’s almost a meditative experience if you pay attention – fun is when you’re you. You just might be having too much of a good time to notice it.

Think about it. For the moment you’re truly having a good time, that one moment you’re you. You’re not what people told you you are – or told you you’re not. You might rebel against constraints of society by being the real you – or perhaps in joy discover social connections that real mean something.

Fun isn’t just subversive against society’s pathologies. Maybe your social ties and society are fine – but fun helps you discover yourself. Bad habits and unhelpful attitudes can vanish when you experience joy, in those moments you’re in touch with yourself. You might be bad at being yourself – fun can help you discover it.

Finally when one is enjoying themselves, you can find new ideas and inspiration. You’re open to experiences – or perhaps the kind of fun that limits your experiences so you’re thinking clearly is what you need. These are moments where you can become something better by being yourself, enjoying – and seeing what evolves.

This is one reason fun, joy, entertainment, is so valuable – when done in a healthy manner. Its moment of being oneself, a moment of clarity, and a moment of safety. In those moments we’re us.

Being us is pretty important. We might not even like what we find – but then we can deal with it. But, good self or bad, fun is one way to subvert what holds us back and disconnects us, and find something more we can be.

Steven Savage

Creators: Focus Not Exclusion

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(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

If you’re a creator – writer, artist, cosplayer, etc. – then there’s probably a list of things you have to do. This list, no matter how organized and ranked, can be a source of stress as there’s just so much to do. Sometimes being well-organized can be stressful as you have a very good grasp of how overloaded you are.

It’s hard to pick what to do isn’t it? Sure you can do this item, but what about this one? What about this new demand? Maybe you can get things in order, but you want to do these other things. You have a lot of ideas and don’t want to exclude them.

Let’s think about it differently.

We’re afraid of excluding things, but don’t think of making choices what to do as exclusion. Think of it as focus first.

To get something done you need to focus, from 30 minutes of writing a day, to a weeklong binge to finish a costume. When you focus there are things you don’t do, but not as you’re excluding them, but instead focusing on getting something done.

Don’t think of all the things you’re not doing – instead choose to focus on one thing and get it done at a time. Take the first item on your list and finish it. Then the next, then the next. Your intent is not leaving things out (even though you are), but it’s getting something accomplished with focus.

Yes, this is a trick of language, a sort of word hack. But it works. It’s a way of changing perspective to see what you’re doing differently so you’re less worried (and thus distracted) and more getting things done.

You’re a creative person. Getting creative with perspective helps you get more done.

Steven Savage

You’re Doing It Wrong

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(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr.  Find out more at my newsletter.)

I hurt my back recently – nothing big – but I did need some physical therapy. It’s been going great, but then the therapist told me something that blew my mind – I was walking wrong.

This news was a bit stunning, as I’ve been walking for decades and figured by now I was pretty good at it. But apparently, the way I was carrying myself wasn’t helping my back and made things worse. It was weird, but a few changes in how I held myself, and I had a noticeable difference in my discomfort.

On top of everything else I’d done to myself, I’d started – or had been – walking wrong. This gave me pause for thought – followed, of course, by a pause for blogging.

There’s a lot of things we do that we’re used to, skills that are habits. They’re instinctive and automatic, and we’re probably pretty good at them. Just like my walking – but it could be cooking, driving, writing, etc.

But just because we’re good at something doesn’t mean we can’t end up doing it wrong.

We could end up adopting bad habits over time, slowly corrupting our abilities with bad choices. We miss the point where our practices outweighed our skill – perhaps our attempts to cook quickly lead us to make poorer dishes.

A crisis or bad experience could lead us to bad choices. Perhaps we restrain ourselves, or overdo something, or avoid a challenge. My back injury seemed to result in my favoring my back the wrong way.

Perhaps we don’t practice our skills or avoid a challenge, and our abilities weaken. They can’t support our ambitions or our goals. We use them, but not enough, not in the right way, and they fade and become fragile.

Or maybe we become too strict in our practice, too linear. We’ve got checklists and outlines, policies and procedures. We become stiff and unyielding in our ideas, and even though we do things, somehow nothing gets done.

We can all become bad at things we are expert at doing. Even walking.

This is why it’s essential to practice and keep learning, no matter what we do. This is why it’s good to ask questions when you have a problem with something that’s normal or something you were once good at doesn’t seem to be going well. Those things we do well may change.

Here’s your assignment – what’s something you’re really good at, and how do you ensure you stay good at it? Think it over . . .

Steven Savage