So today is Thanksgiving. As most of my readers are American, you’re probably stuck inside, avoiding the Pandemic, trying to make due.
I just want to say I’m thankful for all of you out there that read my blog, my books, my newsletter. I’m thankful for your reviews and feedback and kind words. We probably ought to like do some actual thing on zoom or email exchange or something.
You’re probably tired and it’s OK. Just remember the good things on this day, provide good things for others, and let’s do our best to survive and thrive together.
(This column is posted at www.StevenSavage.com and Steve’s Tumblr. Find out more at my newsletter.)
I saw this fascinating Tweet thread when @itsashleyoh asked how people make friends as adult. This is something that’s often troubled me after college, and is an issue in ever-busy Silicon Valley.
Its hard to make friends past a certain point. You get busy with work. Some of your friends have kids and some don’t. Some of you are married and some aren’t. So I read the Tweetstream and added a few suggestions of my own. Think of it as my own way of combating some issues of loneliness all face.
Most of these are face-to-face, but a lot of this applies to online.
Here we go. Please add your own.
- Have a hobby and follow it. This is good for you personally, and of course makes you more interesting.
- Use that hobby to meet people with similar interests and go to meetups, drinks, dinner, etc.
- Help people get into the hobby.
- Hobbies also keep you from being boring and work obsessed.
- There are all sorts of clubs out there you can find via meetup, game stores, hobby stores, etc. Find some and go try them out.
- When you can, help out at your club.
- Take a position at a club.
- Get involved in good causes, and help out. This is also good for you mentally and emotionally.
- If you get involved in a good cause, you may want to be “on staff” – that means reguarly meeting people.
- Go to conventions and socialize.
- Speak or run events at conventions.
- Get on staff at conventions.
Go to places and hang out
- Start hanging out at coffee shops, the library, gymns, etc. other places people gather. Sure you can write and read, but also its a chance to meet people.
- Many places have regular events, bands, etc. Look for those.
- Places you hang out may also have event boards, where people post different things going on.
- If you go to events, go early so you can meet people in line, getting drinks, etc.
- If you go to events reguarly, help out.
- Go to events people you know throw and make new connections.
Specific events and organizations
- Many pubs and places have trivia events and other great social opportunities.
- Game nights are popular at various establishments, including game stores, bars, and meetups.
- Libraries have lots of events, including book sales that you can go to or help out with.
- Museums have events and need volunteers.
- Writing groups and various creative groups often do a lot of events.
- Throw open houses, writing meetups, etc. If necessary, used Meetup.com.
- Do events for your club, church, work to nextwork with people you know.
- Start your own Meetup.
- Try doing “creative jams” at your place or nearby, where fellow writers/artists/musicians socialize.
- Your job may have events that connect you with others, not just those at work.
- Find people you like at work and hang with them if you’re comfortable.
- Places of work often have charity connections that you can get involved in.
- Pets are a common shared interest. There’s parks for animals, clubs, and more.
- There’s often social events for pet lovers.
- There’s charities focused around pets to get involved in
- Have business cards or “social cards” to connect with people.
- Choose the social media you use to connect with people so you can network.
- Meetup.com is invaluable.
- Be ready to reach out to people.
- Rejection is OK. It happens to all of us.
- If you’re seeing a therapist for whatever reason, they may have advice.
Be a good friend
- Take an interest in others. It’s not all about you.
- Help people out (don’t be used, just lend a helping hand)
- Invite your friends to things. even if they don’t always show up, it helps.
- Remember some people are in the same boat as you.
I hope this helps out.
Posted in Advice, Civics, Community, Conventions, Creativity, Culture, Events, Geek, Geek As Citizen, General, Lifestyle, Politics, Psychology, Use This Idea
Tagged adulthood, friends, making friends, making friends as an adult