psychology

Why We’re Bad At Networking #5: Many Personalities, One Method

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Why are we bad at Networking? This issue has been obsessing me for the last few weeks, which I hope has been as informative for you as it’s been therapeutic for me. It’s nice to organize my thoughts and get them out. As you may guess, I’m not done yet.

Now there’s a lot of effective networking advice out there. Sure it’s often basic, sure we get the same stuff thrown at us again and again, sure the tools are overwhelming. But we do get a lot of good network advice and options out there.

It’s just that in a lot of cases . . . it’s pitched at people who already network in specific ways, do specific things, and have specific personalities.

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American Politics: Beasts, Ghosts, and Demons

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Awhile ago I posted on how the famous six realms of Tibetian Buddhism could also indicate psychological states, and how that made me rethink my late dog’s life. I’d like to focus more on those six realms, and what they mean for American politics.

To review, the six realms one can be incarnated in (or that one can experience, if your take the psychological viewpoint) are:

  • Gods (Devas) – A realm of pleasure, but the pleasure distances one, and even gods die.  Think of this as pleasurable and peak experiences.
  • Asuras – A realm of ambition and striving godlike beings, who suffer paranoia and envy.  Think of this as a state of “drive.”
  • Humans – Our realm, a real of desire, doubt, and some confusion but also balance so we may achieve Enlightenment, and where we may develop important compassion that lets us do so.
  • Animals – The realm of instinct, ignorance carnality – and fear and opposition to change.  Think of this as functioning in basic fear-response.
  • Hungry Ghosts – The realm of mournful, craving spirits.  Think of this as being in a state of addiction and sheer need.
  • Hell Realm – The realm of anger, hate, and fear.  Think of this as being in a state of terror and rage.

You can see how these realms can easily represent different human sates from peak experiences to unbridled rage, with honest humanity in the middle. Now let’s turn to American politics using this psychological model.

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False Reality and Real Depression

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Quick, what are the signs someone is truly depressed?  How do you recognize them?

I’m not entirely sure and I majored in Psychology (to be fair, a generalist), which really just means I’m better at looking them up.  At least twice I know I missed it in people I was friends with.  This of course doesn’t count times I missed it and didn’t know, which is a bit terrifying when you think about it.

There are many challenges facing us in helping friends, family, and ourselves when dealing with depression and other challenges of mood, personality, and mental functioning.  However one of the greatest challenges is knowing when someone is depressed (or has another issue that needs treatment) in the first place, and our culture is not helping.

It’s not just that our popular culture is giving us terribly wrong ideas about mental illness and issues, as Ed the Sock so brilliantly illustrates.

It’s that our culture, I think, confuses us further.

We’re a culture that has gotten rather into grandiose displays of emotion, from happiness to sadness.  We’re a reality TV culture where everything is spectacle, and we take our cues from media.  We’re a culture where reality TV, sensationalist politics, media megachurches, and the like turn real life into an endless drama.  We’re in a culture where people vie for attention and drama has become normalized.

You’ve doubtlessly heard the term “Emo,” which has nothing to do with the comedian, but evolved out of the music scene, and is often tossed around to mean agnsty over-emotionalism that people affect.  We even have a repurposed term for being overly dramatic and angsty and self-destructive (missing, conveniently that some people may show these behaviors and really need help).

So in a culture of grand drama, how the hell do you sort out when someone has real problems as opposed to putting on an act?  It’s far, far too easy to assume someone is being dramatic or having an affectation from culture because we’re used to our culture pushing that kind of behavior.  We can miss real cries for help because of these assumptions.

Our culture also doesn’t provide people a way to reach out – because it is a culture of drama.  Indeed, those who need help are provided few cultural tools for acquiring it; some may even take on cultural affectations from our overly dramatic culture as it seems to be the right (or only) way to get the attention they need.  We don’t provide methods for people who need help to signal it.

To help those who need it, family and friends, we have to work around our culture.  That’s rather sad.

But work we must.

– Steven Savage

Steven Savage is a Geek 2.0 writer, speaker, blogger, and job coach.  He blogs on careers at http://www.fantopro.com/, nerd and geek culture at http://www.nerdcaliber.com/, and does a site of creative tools at http://www.seventhsanctum.com/. He can be reached at https://www.stevensavage.com/.